We’ve all been there before: the trips to merge hell, the big bang releases that blew up in our faces, the lack of feature performance data that spawned a nightmare in dev. It’s part of the job we signed up for as software developers. Recently, we asked the developer community if they had any horror stories to share. Turns out, they do. Read and watch (if you can stomach it). Together, let’s overcome our nightmares with fearless feature delivery practices and tools.
“Turn It Off! Turn It Off!” A Terrifying Homegrown Flag!
Word of advice: ghost your homegrown feature flag tool for a feature management platform that attributes insightful data to every flag. You’ll limit unplanned downtime and database exorcisms.
Attack of the Killer Zombie Mutations, Yikes!
Control and visibility of your feature flags are the difference between a successful percentage rollout and a mutation that eats your brain power.
This Cruise Ship of Horrors May Cause Sea Sickness
Imagine if you could go on vacation and leave your work at home. Maybe if we keep gaining efficiencies through feature management and experimentation tools it’ll be possible some day? Let’s hope.
Sleep Tight, Don’t Let the Prod Bugs Bite
Keep the bugs from biting with feature-level observability attached to every feature flag. If you release something that’s problematic, you can locate the issue faster than the time it takes to apply DEET.
Just Another Morning… In Merge Hell
Merge early and often. Enjoy your morning joe without jitters.
No, It’s Not a Dream, It’s a Version Control Nightmare
Make sure you get your rest, Drew. If you need any software development tools to help you sleep through the night, let us know. Counting sheep is much healthier than tallying versions.
The Branch that Broke the Developers Back
TIP: when interviewing for a job, always ask about what feature management platform is on staff.
This Is Not a Joke, It’s a Horrifying Tale
Careful where you tab, sir. Seriously, that was scary!
Just When He Thought It Was Safe to Switch to Async…
Thanks for sharing. No wonder people say moving is one of the most stressful things in life to go through. We’re here to help with your moves and migrations. Let us know if you need a hand.
Caution: You’ll Flip and Fear CSS Forever
We’re glad you can still be friends with CSS after all of this, Chris. Patience and forgiveness is a developer virtue.
Got a Developer Horror Story to Tell?
At Split, we were founded by developers who were fed up with frustrating horror stories like these. It’s why our feature management and experimentation platform is designed to make the software delivery process quicker, safer, more visible, and a little less scary.
The spooky season might be over, but the horror continues for so many software engineering teams. If you have a developer horror story to tell, share it. Use #StopTheDevHorror. We’d love to hear from you. We’d also love to provide technology and support to help remove the stressful parts of your job.